We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
