I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
