at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
