You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
