My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize