If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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