So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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