2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Found the puke drawer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize