Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize