who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
