She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
