We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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