Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
