Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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