I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We left the knife in your bed.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
