I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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