I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
