your thong is hanging out like whoa
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
