that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
