im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
