Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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