do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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