I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
