everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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