just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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