I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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