My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
