Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
