is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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