dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
