why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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