You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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