i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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