I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I will pee on everything he values.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
