She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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