who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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