I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
