I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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