Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
