It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
