ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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