One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
