I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
