Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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