Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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