He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize