My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
