you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
