I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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