I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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