We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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