Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
