Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
