I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
