don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
