it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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