They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize