She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
