The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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