In the future we'll all be gay
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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